I've been told to slim down

Yes I'm fat...I've been told to slim down because my uniform cannot fit me well anymore. They even told me it looks like my skirt is going to burst soon...
And I was told I gotta do something about my hair, it can look unkempt. Yes "unkempt" was used. Even my watch also 被嫌弃, because the face is light pink, which is not allowed actually...

SIAN.

How motivating. How nice to hear those words. Perhaps I should start eating bread and instant noodles especially when I'm overseas, just like those people who tried to do that in order to save lots of money. In that case I can save up a lot too. :)

Ya I am fatter. SIAN. I thought building muscles could help me work better. Yes I'm not wrong, but I thought I got exercise so perhaps I eat more, and eat much richer food, and I become FAT!

And my hair! Should I maintain a short hairstyle for the rest of my working life in this line? I really wished to have long hair yet I look so ugly tying my hair up. Even my friend asked me not to leave long hair. And not to mention that I don't really look good in my short hair either, after using the spray to make it "helmet-like". *Hmpf*

I wonder if I suit this job. It took me months for me to accept the fact that I'm in this line actually. And you know what? Sometimes I have the idea that, if the economy is so bad that the company has to ask people to leave, I don't think I would feel upset about it if I were to become one of them. Yet, there are times that I thought to myself, I would not mind working for more than 2 years...

I really don't know what I want. I cried at night sometimes, panicking over what I should do after I quit the job next time. I panicked because I still do not know what I want. Even though I still have time to think about it. Perhaps I just worry too much. I just want to be simple and happy. But I also want my family to be happy. The money I earn now is good for my parents to live more comfortably...my mother kept telling me to just go ahead and do what I wanna do next time, don't worry about money..but how not to? I also have to save up, for marriage and house and retirement...as well as for my parents' retirement...it's not that they don't have money but I'm afraid it's not enough...after I quit I have to go back to entry level..come on, don't tell me to be sales person, property agent or what...it's not that I look down on these jobs, but I'm totally not interested in them..

OK enough of sudden rambling..didn't intend to talk so much wan...guess I will become a fat, grumpy and naggy old woman next time..LOL

But I don't want! I wanna age gracefully and be a 气质与智慧兼具的老女人！